Still Alive

Hey everyone, yes I am still alive. I know it has been a while, but I have been very busy. I will try to do better.

MAN KILL WIFE BURIED HIS KIDS ALIVE

A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife because she was reading the Bible and then buried her with their infant baby and an 8-year old daughter. The girls were buried alive! He then reported to the police that an uncle killed the kids. 15 days later, another family member died. When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under the sand – ALIVE! The country is outraged over the incident, and the man will be executed.. The older girl was asked how she had survived and she says:- ‘A man wearing

Shiny white clothes, with bleeding wounds in his hands, came every day to feed
Us. He woke up my mom so she could nurse my sister,’ she said. She was
Interviewed on Egyptian national TV, by availed Muslim woman news anchor. She
Said on public TV, ‘This was none other than Jesus, because nobody else does
Things like this!’
Muslims believe Isa (Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He really was
Crucified, and it’s clear also that He is alive! But, it’s also clear
That the child could not make up a story like this, and there is no way these
Children could have survived without a true miracle. Muslim leaders are going to
Have a hard time to figure out what to do with this, and the popularity of the
Passion movie doesn’t help!
With Egypt at the center of the media and education in the Middle East , you
Can be sure this story will spread. Christ is still turning the world upside
Down! Please let this story be shared. The Lord says, ‘I will bless the
Person who puts his trust in me..’ Jeremiah 17

KURTIS THE STOCK BOY AND BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a
 New voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 
4.

Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and 
Decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile 
Caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman
 (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.

 Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road.

 

Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride 
Home.
 

He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, 
He asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said 
It wasn’t possible.

 He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn’t
 Afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly
 She accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday.

 

That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was 
Unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis
 Simply said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

 She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair.

He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us?” Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities – just like her first husband and father of her children had done.

 

Kurtis was not ordinary – - – he had a different Mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

 A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then they have added two more kids.

 So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl?

Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the Super Bowl for the first time in team’s history.  Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person.

 It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl
 XXXVI. He has also been the NLF’s Most Valuable Player twice and the 
Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player.

Sack Lunch to pass around

Wish we can all act the same when we are in similar situation.

—

 

May not be true but worth the read!!  > The Sack Lunches > > I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned > seat.  It was going to be a long flight. ‘I’m glad I have a good book to > read.  Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought. > > Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled > all > the vacant seats, totally surrounding me.  I decided to start a > conversation.  ‘Where are you headed?’ I asked the soldier seated nearest > to > me. ‘Chicago – to Great Lakes Base.  We’ll be there for two weeks for > special training, and then we’re being deployed to Iraq ‘ > > After flying for about an hour, a n announcement was made that sack lunches > were available for five dollars.  It would be several hours before we > reached Chicago, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the t ime. > As > I reached for my wallet, I overheard soldier ask his buddy if he planned > to > buy lunch.  ‘No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. > Probably wouldn’t be worth five bucks.  I’ll wait till we get to Chicago ‘ > His friend agreed. > > I looked around at the other soldiers.  None were buying lunch.  I walked > to > the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. > ‘Take a lunch to all those soldiers.’  She grabbed my arms and squeezed > tightly.  Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me.  ‘My son was a soldier > in > Iraq; it’s almost like you are doing it for him.’ > > Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were > seated.  She stopped at my seat and asked, ‘Which do you like best – beef > or > chicken?’ ‘Chicken,’ I replied, wondering why she asked.  She turned and > went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate > from first class.  ‘This is your thanks.’ > > After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading > for > the rest room.  A ma n stopped me.  ‘I saw what you did.  I want to be part > of it.  Here, take this.’  He handed me twenty-five dollars. > > Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the > aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not > looking > for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the > plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, an > said, ‘I want to shake your hand.’ Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood > and took the Captain’s hand.  With a booming voice he said, ‘I was a > soldier > and I was a milit ary pilot.  Once, someone bought me a lunch.  It was an > act > of kindness I never forgot.’  I was embarrassed when applause was heard > from > all of the passengers. > > Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs.  A > man > who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting > to shake mine.  He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm. > > When we landed in Chicago I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. > Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put > something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a > word. > Another twenty-five dollars! > > Upo n entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to > the base.  I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. > ‘It > will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a > sandwich.  God Bless You.’ > > Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their > fellow > travelers.  As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their > safe return.  These soldiers were giving their all for our country.  I > could > only give them a couple of meals. It seemed so little… > > > A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check > Made > payable to ‘The United States of America ‘ for an amount of ‘up to and > including my life.’ That is Honor, and there are way too many people in > This > country who no longer understand it.’

Be Kind to Others

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was

Walking home from school.

 

His name was Kyle.

 

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

 

I thought to myself, ‘Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?

 

He must really be a nerd.’

 

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends

Tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

 

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

 

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so

He landed in the dirt.

 

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet

From him…

 

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

 

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around

Looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

 

As I handed him his glasses, I said, ‘Those guys are jerks.’

 

They really should get lives.’ He looked at me and said, ‘Hey thanks!’

 

There was a big smile on his face.

 

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

 

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

 

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him

Before..

 

He said he had gone to private school before now.

 

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

 

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

 

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

 

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends

 

He said yes.

 

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked

Him, and my  friends thought the same of him.

 

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

 

I stopped him and said, ‘Boy, you are gonna really build some serious

Muscles with this pile of books everyday!’

 

He just laughed and handed me half the books.

 

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..

 

When we were seniors we began to think about college.

 

Kyle decided on Princeton and I was going to Duke.

 

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a

Problem.

 

He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a  football

Scholarship..

 

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

 

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

 

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

 

I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak

 

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

 

He looked great.

 

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high  school.

 

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

 

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

 

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

 

Today was one of those days.

 

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.

 

So, I smacked him on the back and said, ‘Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!’

 

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and

Smiled.

 

‘ Thanks,’ he said.

 

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those

Tough years.

 

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but  mostly your

Friends….

 

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift

You can give them.

 

I am going to tell you a story.’

 

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met.

 

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

 

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to

Do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

 

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

 

‘Thankfully, I was saved.

 

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..’

 

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us

All about his weakest moment.

 

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

 

Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.

 

Never underestimate the power of your actions..

 

With one small gesture you can change a person’s life.

 

For better or for worse.

 

 

God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way.

 

Look for God in others.

Christmas at the Gas Station

The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He didn’t hate Christmas, just couldn’t find a reason to celebrate. He was sitting there looking at the snow that had been falling for the last hour and wondering what it was all about when the door opened and a homeless man stepped through.

Instead of throwing the man out, Old George as he was known by his customers, told the man to come and sit by the heater and warm up.  “Thank you, but I don’t mean to intrude,” said the stranger “I see you’re busy, I’ll just go.” “Not without something hot in your belly.” George said.

He turned and opened a wide mouth Thermos and handed it to the stranger. “It ain’t much, but it’s hot and tasty, “Stew … Made it myself. When you’re done, there’s coffee and it’s fresh.”

Just at that moment he heard the “ding” of the driveway bell. “Excuse me, be right back,” George said. There in the driveway was an old ‘53 Chevy. Steam was rolling out of the front. The driver was panicked.  “Mister can you help me!” said the driver, with a deep Spanish accent. “My wife is with child and my car is broken.”

George opened the hood. It was bad. The block looked cracked from the cold, the car was dead. “You ain’t going in this thing,” George said as he turned away.

“But Mister, please help …” The door of the office closed behind George as he went inside. He went to the office wall and got the keys to his old truck, and went back outside. He walked around the building, opened the garage, started the truck and drove it around to where the couple was waiting. “Here, take my truck,” he said. “She ain’t the best thing you ever looked at, but she runs real good.”

George helped put the woman in the truck and watched as it sped off into the night. He turned and walked back inside the office. “Glad I gave ‘em the truck, their tires were shot too. That ‘ol truck has brand new .” George thought he was talking to the stranger, but the man had gone. The Thermos was on the desk, empty, with a used coffee cup beside it. “Well, at least he got something in his belly,” George thought.

George went back outside to see if the old Chevy would start. It cranked slowly, but it started. He pulled it into the garage where the truck had been. He thought he would tinker with it for something to do. Christmas Eve meant no customers. He discovered that the block hadn’t cracked, it was just the bottom hose on the radiator. “Well, shoot, I can fix this,” he said to himself. So he put a new one on.  “Those tires ain’t gonna get ‘em through the winter either.” He took the snow treads off of his wife’s old Lincoln . They were like new and he wasn’t going to drive the car anyway.

As he was working, he heard shots being fired. He ran outside and beside a police car an officer lay on the cold ground. Bleeding from the left shoulder, the officer moaned, “Please help me.”

George helped the officer inside as he remembered the training he had received in the Army as a medic. He knew the wound needed attention.  “Pressure to stop the bleeding,” he thought. The uniform company had been there that morning and had left clean shop towels. He used those and duct tape to bind the wound. “Hey, they say duct tape can fix anythin’,” he said, trying to make the policeman feel at ease.

“Something for pain,” George thought. All he had were the pills he used for his back. “These ought to work.” He put some water in a cup and gave the policeman the pills. “You hang in there, I’m going to get you an ambulance.”

The phone was dead. “Maybe I can get one of your buddies on that there talk box out in your car.” He went out only to find that a bullet had gone into the dashboard destroying the two way radio.

He went back in to find the policeman sitting up. “Thanks,” said the officer. “You could have left me there. The guy that shot me is still in the area.”

George sat down beside him, “I would never leave an injured man in the Army and I ain’t gonna leave you.” George pulled back the bandage to check for bleeding. “Looks worse than what it is. Bullet passed right through ‘ya. Good thing it missed the important stuff though. I think with time your gonna be right as rain.”

George got up and poured a cup of coffee. “How do you take it?” he asked. “None for me,” said the officer. “Oh, yer gonna drink this.  Best in the city. Too bad I ain’t got no donuts.” The officer laughed and winced at the same time.

The front door of the office flew open. In burst a young man with a gun. “Give me all your cash! Do it now!” the young man yelled. His hand was shaking and George could tell that he had never done anything like this before.

“That’s the guy that shot me!” exclaimed the officer.

“Son, why are you doing this?” asked George, “You need to put the cannon away. Somebody else might get hurt.”

The young man was confused. “Shut up old man, or I’ll shoot you, too.  Now give me the cash!”

The cop was reaching for his gun. “Put that thing away,” George said to the cop, “we got one too many in here now.”

He turned his attention to the young man. “Son, it’s Christmas Eve. If you need money, well then, here. It ain’t much but it’s all I got. Now put that pee shooter away. “

George pulled $150 out of his pocket and handed it to the young man, reaching for the barrel of the gun at the same time. The young man released his grip on the gun, fell to his knees and began to cry “I’m not very good at this am I? All I wanted was to buy something for my wife and son,” he went on. “I’ve lost my job, my rent is due, my car got repossessed last week .”

George handed the gun to the cop. Son, we all get in a bit of squeeze now and then. The road gets hard sometimes, but we make it through the best we can.”

He got the young man to his feet, and sat him down on a chair across from the cop. “Sometimes we do stupid things.” George handed the young man a cup of coffee. “Bein’ stupid is one of the things that makes us human. Comin’ in here with a gun ain’t the answer. Now sit there and get warm and we’ll sort this thing out.”

The young man had stopped crying. He looked over to the cop. “Sorry I shot you. It just went off. I’m sorry office.”

“Shut up and drink your coffee.” the cop said.

George could hear the sounds of sirens outside. A police car and an  ambulance skidded to a halt. Two cops came through the door, guns drawn. “Chuck! You ok?” one of the cops asked the wounded officer.

“Not bad for a guy who took a bullet. How did you find me?”

“GPS locator in the car. Best thing since sliced bread. Who did this?” the other cop asked as he approached the young man.

Chuck answered him, “I don’t know. The guy ran off into the dark. Just dropped his gun and ran.”

George and the young man both looked puzzled at each other.

“That guy work here?,” the wounded cop continued. “Yep,” George said, “just hired him this morning. Boy lost his job.”

The paramedics came in and loaded Chuck onto the stretcher. The young man leaned over the wounded cop and whispered, “Why?” Chuck just said, “Merry Christmas boy … and you too, George, and thanks for everything .”

“Well, looks like you got one doozy of a break there. That ought to solve some of your problems.”

George went into the back room and came out with a box. He pulled out a ring box. “Here you go, something for the little woman. I don’t think Martha would mind. She said it would come in handy some day.”

The young man looked inside to see the biggest diamond ring he ever saw. “I can’t take this,” said the young man. “It means something to you.”

“And now it means something to you,” replied George. “I got my memories. That’s all I need.”

George reached into the box again. An airplane, a car and a truck appeared next. They were toys that the oil company had left for him to sell. “Here’s something for that little man of yours.”

The young man began to cry again as he handed back the $150 that the old man had handed him earlier.

“And what are you supposed to buy Christmas dinner with? You keep that too,” George said, “Now git home to your family.”

The young man turned with tears streaming down his face “I’ll be here in the morning for work, if that job offer is still good.”

“Nope. I’m closed Christmas day,” George said. “See ya the day after.”

George turned around to find that the stranger had returned. “Where’d you come from? I thought you left?”

“I have been here. I have always been here,” said the stranger. “You say you don’t celebrate Christmas. Why?”

“Well, after my wife passed away, I just couldn’t see what all the bother was. Puttin’ up a tree and all seemed a waste of a good pine tree. Bakin’ cookies like I used to with Martha just wasn’t the same by myself and besides I was gettin’ a little chubby.”

The stranger put his hand on George’s shoulder. “But you do celebrate the holiday, George.  You gave me food and drink and warmed me when I was cold and hungry.  The woman with child will bear a son and he will become a great doctor.  The policeman you helped will go on to save 19 people from being killed by terrorists.  The young man who tried to rob you will make you a rich man and not take any for himself. “That is the spirit of the season and you keep it as good as any man.”

George was taken aback by all this stranger had said. “And how do you know all this?” asked the old man.

“Trust me, George. I have the inside track on this sort of thing. And when your days are done you will be with Martha again.”

The stranger moved toward the door. “If you will excuse me, George, I have to go now. I have to go home where there is a big celebration planned.”

George watched as the old leather jacket and the torn pants that the stranger was wearing turned into a white robe. A golden light began to fill the room.

“You see, George … it’s My birthday. Merry Christmas.”

George fell to his knees and replied, “Happy Birthday, Lord.”

Author Unknown

                           Merry Christmas Y’all

                        And Happy New Year Too

Little Johnny

Little Johnny watched his Daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car, and saw Daddy and Aunt Diana in a Passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could barely contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. “Mommy,” Little Johnny exclaimed,  “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Diana. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Diana a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt
Diana helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Diana……”

At this point Mom cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an ‘interesting’ story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the he look on Daddy’s face when you tell him tonight.”

At the dinner table, Mommy asked Little Johnny to tell Daddy his story. Mommy listened closely as Little Johnny started telling his story about how he saw the car go into the woods…, then watched Aunt Diana get undressed…, and then Aunt Diana laid down on the back seat…., and then Aunt Diana and Daddy started doing the same thing
that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army!!!”

MORAL TO THIS STORY: Always listen to the whole story before you
interrupt someone…….especially Little Johnnie!

The Affairs

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM ..

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

“Where have you been?” his wife demanded.

“I can’t lie to you,” he replied, “I’m having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.”

“You lying bastard! You’ve been playing golf!”

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy babyboy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, “There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, “Not this time!”

The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

“I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.”

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

“I have to show you something you won’t believe,” he said t ohis wife, opening his briefcase.

“My God!” the wife exclaim ed, “Schwartz is dead?!?!”

The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.”

She rubbed baby oil all over him, the n dust ed him with talcum powder.

“Don’t move until I tell you,” she said. “Pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh it’s a statue.” she replied. “The Smith’s bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too.”

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

“Here,” he said to the statue, “have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith’s andnobody offered me a damned thing.”

The 5th Aff air:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

“Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.”

“One Cent?” the man thought.

He glanced at the menu and asked, “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?”

“A nickel,” the barman replied.

“A nickel?” exclaimed the man “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The bartender replied, “Upstairs, with my wife.”

The man asked, “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?”

The bartender replied,

“The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.”

The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, “I have something I must confess.”

“There’s noneed to,” his wife replied.

“No,” he insisted, “I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!”

“I know, I know,” she replied. “Now just rest and let the poison work.”

BE KINDER THAN NECESSARY

 Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.
>
> From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop
> your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing….
> Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind.  His
> owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for
> him.
>
>
>
> This alone is amazing. If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the
> sound of a bell.  Looking around for the source of the sound, you will
> see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to the
> horse’s halter is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the
> other horse is, so he can follow.
>
> As you stand and watch these two friends, you’ll see that the horse with
> the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse
> will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse
> is, trusting that he will not be led astray.
>
>
> When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each
> evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind
> friend isn’t too far behind to hear the bell.
>
>
> Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just
> because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He
> watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we
> are in need.
>
> Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell
> of those who God places in our lives.
>
> Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way….
>
> Good friends are like that… you may not always see them, but you know
> they are always there.
>
> Please listen for my bell and I’ll listen for yours. And remember… be
> kinder than necessary; everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

To make you smile

>A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to
>his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”
>
>The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?”
>
>The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed
>together, but then I stopped.”
>
>The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it
>in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five
>Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”
>
>The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and
>then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then
>started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over
>to him saying, “I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”
>
>The Irishman replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and
>according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon
>entering the confessional, she said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have
>sinned.”
>
>The priest said, “Confess your sins and be forgiven.”
>
>
>The young woman said, “Last night my boyfriend made mad
>passionate love to me seven times.”
>
>
>The priest thought long and hard and then said, “Squeeze seven
>lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.”
>
>The young woman asked, “Will this cleanse me of my sins?”
>
>The priest said, “No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.”
>
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and
>his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he
>said, “You’re beautiful.”
>
>Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say
>that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his
>eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute.”
>
>The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now
>”cute.”
>
>She asked, “What happened to beautiful?”
>
>The man replied, “The drugs are wearing off.”
>
>********************************************************************
>
>Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
>company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and
>asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor
>creature?”
>
>Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an
>animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and
>there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the
>creature.”
>
>Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Do ya ‘think $5,000 is enough to
>donate to them for the service?”
>
>Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell
>me the dog was Catholic?”
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following  conversation
>ensues: Man: “I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many
>children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up
>two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel,
>where I had sex with each of them three times.”
>
>Priest: “Are you sorry for your sins?”
>
>Man: “What sins?”
>
>Priest: “What kind of a Catholic are you?”
>
>Man: “I’m Jewish.”
>
>Priest: “Why are you telling me all this?”
>
>Man: “I’m 92 years old .. I’m telling everybody.”
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
>pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
>together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
>
>”Quick,” said the woman to the lover,”into the closet!” and she pushed him
>in the closet, stark naked.
>
>The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom
>discovered the man in the closet. “Who are you?” he asked him.
>
>”I’m an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,” said the exterminator.
>
>”What are you doing in there?” the husband asked.
>
>”I’m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,” the man
>replied.
>
>”And where are your clothes?” asked the husband.
>
>The man looked down at himself and said, “Those little bastards!”